Planning a funeral or memorial while grieving is a lot of decisions in a short time. This checklist orders the work so you can do the next thing and leave the rest for later. Not every item applies to every family. Traditions, religion, budget, and state rules all shape what you need.
For the first hours and paperwork after a death, start with What to Do When a Parent Dies. Use this page for the service itself.
Give you an itemized General Price List you can keep
Let you buy only the goods and services you choose (you do not have to take a package)
Give price information by phone if you ask
Allow a casket or urn you buy elsewhere, without a handling fee for that
Offer an alternative container for cremation if they offer cremation (no state requires a casket for cremation)
The FTC's Shopping for Funeral Services tips also suggest comparing prices from at least two homes when you can, and shopping ahead of need when possible. Embalming is not required by law in every situation; ask what your state and the funeral home actually require.
First decisions (often day one or two)
[ ] Find any written wishes, prepaid plan, or cemetery deed
[ ] Choose burial, cremation, body donation, or another option the family agrees on
[ ] Choose a funeral home or cremation provider; ask for the General Price List
[ ] Decide on a public service, private service, graveside only, or memorial later
[ ] Name one point person for the funeral home (others can help, but one voice reduces crossed wires)
[ ] Set a rough budget and who is paying
Papers and practical calls
[ ] Death certificates: ask the funeral home how many certified copies to order (banks, insurers, and agencies often each want one)
[ ] Confirm the funeral home will report the death to Social Security, or call SSA yourself if needed (SSA: when someone dies)
[ ] Contact the cemetery or crematory about timing and rules
[ ] If there is a prepaid plan, get the contract out and ask what it covers
[ ] Ask about veterans' benefits if the person served
Building the service
[ ] Date, time, and place for visitation, service, and reception
[ ] Officiant, clergy, or celebrant
[ ] Who will speak, read, or play music
[ ] Pallbearers, if any
[ ] Photo boards, slideshow, or guestbook
[ ] Flowers, or "in lieu of flowers" donations (exact organization name)
[ ] Arrange childcare, rides, or lodging help for out-of-town family
[ ] Plan food for the reception (caterer, church kitchen, or potluck)
Money: keep a simple log
Write down every quote and invoice: funeral home, cemetery, clergy honorarium, flowers, printing, reception. Ask for the written statement of what you selected before you pay, which the Funeral Rule requires. If something is unclear, pause and ask.
The day of the service
[ ] Confirm start times with the funeral home the day before
[ ] Bring extra programs and a pen for the guestbook
[ ] Assign one person to receive deliveries (flowers, food)
[ ] Assign one person to watch coats, cards, and donations
[ ] Keep water and tissues at the front for speakers
In the week after
[ ] Send thank-yous to people who helped, brought food, or sent flowers
[ ] Collect leftover programs, cards, and photo boards
[ ] Note any memorial donations that still need to be sent
[ ] Keep copies of receipts and the funeral contract with the estate papers
[ ] Give yourself permission to do non-urgent admin later
If you're planning ahead (no death yet)
Writing wishes while everyone is calm is a gift. Note burial vs. cremation, preferred funeral home, people to call, music, and budget limits. Store it with other important papers. Our end-of-life planning checklist covers the wider paperwork set this sits inside.
Printable help. The Just-in-Case Planner includes final-wishes pages and a funeral planning checklist you can fill out ahead of time. The Funeral Program & Obituary Kit has editable program layouts and an obituary writing guide for the service week.
General information for families. Not legal, financial, or professional funeral-planning advice. Funeral and cemetery rules vary by state and by provider. Confirm prices and requirements with the funeral home and, when needed, a qualified professional.